Beat Beat Beat it Just Beat it

I am BEAT today just plain beat!

I talked to Denise yesterday and Cherrie for the first time today, That was weird and cool.

I don't know I never talk to anyone on the phone its rare.

Andrew and I laugh if one of us asks who called because our phone only rings when there is an emergency LOL Maybe 1 time every 2 weeks.

But I had fun and it was cool,maybe I shall utilize thins new fangled thing called TELEPHONE!

I bought some small goodies for RAK's on 8up. Some of them came today YAY! I actually got my SS stuff in the mail for March....so I am on top of it.

I talked to my Dr. again in Oregon , she said I need to get a check up. She thinks I have pernicious anemia? (sp?) It means shots every few weeks and something else I don't know, but it might be why I am so exhausted.
I feel really sad and depressed lately. Andrew is not helping much and I find we are fighting most days. Sometimes I get tired of being the only one who is motivated and yearns for something better in our lives.

Oh well, thats life...*sniff* kick myself in the butt and shut the hell up! Just feeling that real isolated lonely feeling again and I need to just get over it and realize I won't ever have someone right here to be my friend and I need to learn to be my own friend. Hey Cristal how ya doing today? Pretty good lame as how about you? :P

Stamping Crazy!

Here are more of the Pink Cat Studio Bird Stamps (Tweet) I am in LOVE with them!. I just finished my myspace cards for my friends and I am pretty happy with them all!
I love using brown ink for stamping now!
I was feeling springy so I broke out pinks and greens....and paired them with aging and browns. I like the non traditional effect it has. The beautiful card was for a gf from Hawaii. You know my heart's true home.
I don't think I will get tired of these stamps anytime soon! Now off to make a CD card. And maybe take it easy tonight. My back is really acting up a lot lately.
My stress level is high too I have this weird feeling people are upset with me.
I just feel it. So I think its time for a break.

Small Milestones

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Amidst the terrible eBay mess and strike this week....I made a small milestone.
I just sold my 1000th dress! Not only on eBay of course, I mean I have done a lot of outside orders and Etsy and 2 private weddings etc....but it was pretty cool to hit the 1000 mark. Especially considering this was not even a career move.
It just fell into my lap sort of.
I stopped working when I was 6 months pregnant. My pregnancies were just terrible.
And I figured I would not work again. But then Andrew got Multiple Sclerosis and we needed extra income for the medications. I started making my own clothes...and so many people asked me about them, and asked me to make the same thing for them! So there the whole baby doll revolution began!
At the time there were no Torrids in Eugene, Oregon. And finding plus sized clothing was hard.
Its still really hard to fin 4X - 7X babydolls. Heck half the time its hard to find 1X - 4X babydolls.
Since babydolls were easiest for me to whip out and they sold, here I am almost 3 years later (I checked the dates on my ebay feedback)...still making them!
And most of my customers have been back for more!
In that time I managed to pay for Andrew's monthly medications and pay for us to fly to Oregon and back. And help with bills. Plus some fun spending money! So overall it has been a great experience.
It introduced me to alot of cool women online and made me realize how important it is for a woman to feel beautiful at any size! And it did introduce me to my best friend EVER! Tasha which is really cool. I never knew I could find such good friends online...I tell you though, I have so many friends now....And I really care for them and respect them. I think that is really cool.
And for them to be able to find fun hip styles at an size.

I wish I had more time and resources to be able to make more than just babydolls. I have so many ideas in this pink head. But I feel blessed by God that he has given me a way to use my sewing to not only help my family but to help others feel good too.

I have gained, self confidence in running my own business, I have gained a new respect for the plight of the plus sized woman. I truly believe that it is the revolution of women everywhere.
And it starts at home by feeling and looking beautiful and portraying that to the outside world!

Wearing my own clothing made me walk a little taller and carry a bigger smile. That feeling is contagious! When I see a beautiful plus sized confident woman. It makes me think...."THAT is beauty!",
So I give myself a little kudos today! and toot my own horn for a moment and stop to thank God for his blessings in my life.

And YOUR looking at ME???

We went to the train show yesterday and I honestly try not to judge a book by its cover so to speak because I am plus sized and have pink hair....But I have to say!

I had so many whispers and comment from the craziest mullet wearing comb over leather jacket with choo choo trains on them and conductor hat wearing 900 year olds!!!

Holy shit are you kidding me??

Really?? Your going to point and whisper about me????

Maybe you should try to clip that 12 inch comb over first! and get rid of the party in the back and business in the front....THEN we can talk about how crazy I look!

Don't get me wrong the kids loved the trains...but man oh man.

It was hard not to bust out laughing when I am the one getting pointed at and laughed at.

Sorry I just had to chuckle to myself and think...."dude, take off the special 200.00 conductor hat with the brass and REAL 24Kt gold plates on it, then we'll talk ok?".

Whatever floats your boat is cool with me, but don't come a judging when you haven't earned your way into 2008. hehehehe

Scalloped edge using corner rounder

I love scalloped edges! But I scrap on a tight budget and cannot always afford pre scalloped paper. And I have heard the scalloped scissors are hard to cut a straight edge. So here is how I do it.
I know you have probably seen this before but I wanted to take close in tight shots so you understand how it is done. This card is a finished product using my corner rounder for scalloping. I do love my scallops! Once again the card stamp is from Pink Cat Studios. Man they rock!


This corner rounder was 4.99 at Target it is EK brand...it is size medium.
First remove the plastic piecing that holds your paper in place. You cannot scallop with it on. It snaps on and off very easily.

Then place the corner rounder Upside down against the very edge of the paper. You will be able to see on the edge of the inside cutter. Light paper cuts much easier because it is much easier to spot where it ends and begins against the metal.

Then you find where you cut the first scallop and edge it up close again leaving a tiny hole to place it just right. You can see in the picture below...it is easy to spot if your looking for the connection. Make sure to leave a tiny cut space so it looks pretty, otherwise it might have a little bird beak or V sticking out the side.

This is how it looks when you have done a few.
Hope it helps someone!! If not, well I had fun doing it Anyways so :P hehehehe

Tweet Card and Ribbon technique

I am lovin' me some Tweety Stamps! SO I made yet another card from my stamp set. I am planning on buying more soon I am sure! I used the ribbon technique I have used before so I could make a pic tutorial on it. I have had some requests for it.
This is the one with glue, but I use staples too and love the affect!

Firts you tack down the base piece so nothing shifts around.
Then you fold the ribbon and glue it, then fold over on the glue

And continue folding in a random pattern back and forth trying to break it up once in a while gluing the ribbon going down every 5 or 6 folds
The trim the edges and you see above the finished product!

Another Fun Pink Cat Studio Stamp Card

www.pinkcatstudio.com Makes me SO happy!
I adore this stamp set and have had so much fun making cards with it.
On myspace I sent out a bulletin to all my friends, letting them know if they would like a card from me then send me their address's and I will make one for them. www.myspace.com/blueyecicle
I got 8 replies! So I challenged myself to make 8 cards! YA!
One friend is having a baby and she found out it is a girl so I am going to make one for her baby and just thank you notes for being good friends.
For this card I used my generic cheap 4.99 for 18 pack of watercolor pencils. They ROCK because you can use a tiny paintbrush and add a tinge of water and they looks painted! YA for fun toys.
Also for the 3-D affect I stamped 2 stamps, cut out the shopping bags and hot glued (thick layer) over the original stamp. I cut out the entire stamps and Hot glued that to white textured cardstock. So it sets ON the card rather then just a colored image in the card.
Fun, fun! Only took maybe an hour for this card but it was so fun! I watched a movie and made a card! What could be more fun than that? Happy Valentine's Day!

Buzz! All the Buzzzzzz

I never like being confined to the "kit" pages, you know Christmas pages for Christmas and Halloween for Halloween. I like to just let my creativity flow on its own. I am weird like that.
I always feel confined when I have to use the traditional ideas.
So I took some Basic Grey INFUSE papers last night and a sketch for TS challenge and did this one.
I am not 100% satisfied with it but it work I guess.
I used my KI lace paper again and Heidi Swapp/Prima flowers. I adore Heidi Swapp flowers I truly do!....I punches out the "lace" and Scallops myself. I wanted to create more depth and layering for this one because the colors were a little plain. But I used softer colors so the Picture would really show through.
I felt like it was lacking so I did my fancy ribbon trick, but did not use the staples like I wanted. I don't want to use staples every page I make now! LOL But I could, I do love me some staples!
I like using some of the older lines of BG and paper.
I used my heat embossing gun and clear embossing powder to emboss the entire arrow! I liked how it gave the rigid shiny affect to it.

I could not let this picture go without scrapping it, even Andrew dressed as a BEE. Some girl asked him is he wanted some HONEY ! Very funny. I don't know if I will ever tire of making family costumes. I do love it so much!

What it means to be plus sized?

I was watching Phat Girlz the other night. Total cheezball movie I would not normally watch. But I still connected on an emotional level with the silly show.

Watching her sit in her room with a dresser full of diet pills and an "idea" of what normal is supposed to be.

I really connected with her especially because she is not the typical TV size 10 or 12 "plus sized" gal, She is a 24/26 plus sized beauty just like me!

I realized that even though I have come so far in accepting myself.....I still get those insecure twinges and I also realized I can never EVER let myself quit being aware and showing others it is OK to be beautiful and BIG! Because for that one person it might make feel better like Monique does for me....it MIGHT touch hundreds of others!

So even if its silly or funny or just being myself....strong, beautiful and unique. Then so be it.

People MUST see it because I have strangers approach me every day...and most times they say "GIRL you are one brave woman!, or Your must be strong to wear that Pink hair!"

Well, you know what? I don't think of it that way. But I bet you some other plus sized gal who is feeling low that day just might see it and think...."wow that is so cool!" Because when I see beautiful Plus sized woman I do the same damn thing!

Sew Nice of You....Pink Cat Stamps *link added*

My new Favorite Stamp Company is Pink Cat Studios! http://www.pinkcatstudio.com/

The gal there is super sweet and the shipping rocks! Its only like 2.00 for a set of stamps to ship from Canada! And they come right away!
I fell in love with this stamp set....wow! Right up my alley.
So I made the stamp and colored it....I had a hell of a time figuring out how to color it with a nice look to it. Finally water colored pencils did it for me. I tried ink, chalk, chalk pencils, and markers. Nothing looked right.
So water colored pencils (generic) from Micheal's for 4.99 was the way to go for me.
I made the stamp and colored it and added the ribbon, but much to my chagrin....it clashed with MOST of my papers. So it sat for 3 days LOL Then I was thinking one night...and it hit me! DUH!!....I have that funky bright WalMart paper pack!! and sure enough it fit just right to me.
I want to try this again and color the bird with grays and black and put it on a B&W background.
We will see when I have more time.

True Love Layout

I bought this KI Lace paper a while ago and it was hard for me to cut into it at 1.26 a sheet LOL
The rest of the LO is cheap WalMart cardstock paper.
And regular black cardstock. I sure wish all the black matched up better! LOL
I painted all the lace paper. The folded flower is Heidi Swapp of course!

I decided to make a page of Andrew and I that was honest and frank about our love.
I get tired of hearing about high school sweethearts and the perfect love, when people can in fact find a true and pure love even after a divorce or a child and drug use, I mean whatever!
Sometimes it just takes time to find the perfect mate for yourself and judgment of relationships is just petty and ridiculous.

Andrew and I met when we moved in next door to each other, he had a kid and I was dating a Dr. in Chicago. My life was crazy, but I never found a man before that I could open up to about being molested and abused. Nor a man who would help me and hold me up while I faced my abusers and stand by me and help me shout it to the world. I mean he made copies of my book and mailed it off to over 25 people! He stood by me when I got criticized and people looked down on me for what happened to me. He stood up and told people to shut up and listen!
And we held each other when we foudn out about his MS and everything else.
I meant for the journaling to say Andrew needed a mother for his son, but I mis-wrote LOL and just said he needed a mother *oops* LOL Oh well that is the fun of scrap booking, you make mistakes and its ok.

I like the grungy feel of the staples and black inking. I had fun doing this one. I felt like the dirtier inky feeling was like us....not perfect and not ideal but beautiful and fun and funky in it's own way.

Getting scrappy with it!

I was busy scrapping last night. I am so stressed out about Andrew's Lay off and the whole job situation. It would be ok if he got unemployment but he isn't because they still have not fixed his wages (they filed them under the wrong SSN) And we are really hurting now.
Sucks he is working his butt off AND doing everything right but because of a companies error we are in debt and broke. We even saved for this type of thing but have used the savings on all the lay offs they have given him.
Very upsetting and everyone keeps telling me its ok. Which stresses me out more. So I don't say much anymore and just cry by myself.
I sure wish I had a good friend nearby to lean on a bit.
Oh well.
So here are the two Layouts I did last night.
It was my first experiment in making my own chipboard graphics. I didn't have the money to buy the fun arrows I wanted so I made some by hand.

I used my cuttlebug embossing folder to emboss the paper and ink it before I glues it on the chipboard letters. Cuttlebug works great in a Sizzix!

The paper on the embellishments is the Crate Paper line Hampton, I really love double sided cardstock paper form Crate Paper!

The story of the Livingroom Ice Skating is in the folder.

Strike and Bud the Gnome

It was so fun to take the two younger boys bowling for the first time, they had such a good time.
Let me tell you they are STRONG!
Gage really had to lug the ball up there but he did it and he did it well. Justice had it a bit easier. You know you would never know those boys are 4 and 5. I swear they are more like 7 yr olds.
I have been doing such heartfelt deep Lo's lately it was fun to get away from all the intricate details and have a fun bright Lo too.
I know I need to find my style but I want to be versatile and not all snobby with my Layouts. I mean they are for fun and for the boys . I am real happy with the way this turned out.
I used my Cropadile for the hole punching and I did the scalloping myself. My hands hurt like a mutha when I was done!!
Oh and if you want to see more bowling with the gnome even here is the website they posted it at.
http://www.punagnome.com/franklin_va1.html
http://www.punagnome.com/franklin_va2.html

Livingroom Ice Skating

I was going to blog about this when I scrapped it but I probably won't scrap it just yet so I thought I would share.
Last week Justice asked Daddy to put on FOOTBALL! So as a joke Andrew put on ICE SKATING!
Well, the joke backfired because the boys were thrilled! hahaha
They started "skating around the livingroom in their slippers.

My Scrapping style

I never thought I would get so involved in Scrapbooking, I must admit.

I always thought it was something for bored women who never got to play with stickers as a child. But now I realize it is so much more.



It is about showing your children through art and photography....who and what you were. And living in the moment. Yes, it is costly and yes it is time consuming. But what isn't?

A few months ago I was asked my scrappy style...I had no idea. I still don't. I feel like restraining myself to one style is like putting a constraint on my creativity. I can see myself doing beautiful classic layouts as well as modern funky ones.



I had a terrible experience in a forum for Scrapbooking this week and now I realize that my laid back accepting style is definitely not for everyone.



And I have come to really appreciate the first forum I started with. A small knit group of caring women who look past my first RAKS and stickers and waited for me to grow some and I am sure they still look past my Foe-PAWS? (sp?)



But I also realize how uptight some people are and how demanding and competative something that is meant to be your legacy but gets turned into a NAZI driven anger fest.

I know I can't let myself get into that mess and I just need to be laid back and have fun.

I was proud of how I did not let all the words and anger spewed at me, stress me out. In fact it did not bother me at all. 5 years ago I woul dhave been crying in bed and withdrawn and a mess. But this week I just let it go. Realizing that it was not MY problem but others who have issues and its all good they cant hurt me anyways.



This week was particularly fun because I dug deep (y'all know hwo I love self exporation) and made a couple pretty intense LO's.