Wednesday, January 5, 2011

♥~The Box~♥

Good morning my blog friends...
I have a special blog today that has nothing to do with scrapbooking.
Today I wanted to share my special holiday story.

♥The story behind this very special box♥
Many who know me even online know I am a survivor of
extreme childhood and adult abuse.
I am a strong advocate for children who have been abused
and often share my stories and struggles as an adult who successfully survived.
So it is no shock that I have very few good childhood memories.
In fact I really believe that every bad experience I had as a child probably
little by little erased any good ones, so I feel very blessed to have some
wonderful memories at my grandmother's house.
I remember going to her home and everything that was bad in my life
would slip away for a few short hours and I became a princess who was loved
and adored and respected, if only for the day.
My grandma "Ginger" would take me in her room and let me sit on
her water bed and put her hair in rollers and brush it as much as I wanted.
She let me look in her jewelry drawers and try on her earrings, she told
me how pretty I was and what a good girl I was, how much she loved me.
I never heard that at home, I never thought I was a good girl.

I always thought I was a horrible ugly little girl who was bad in her heart.
It was an experience I will never forget going to her home and spending
time carefree like a child should be.
She taught me to can green beans, cook oatmeal and gave me my first
bowl of Trix cereal. All such small things but left a lasting impression on me.
Anyways..before I moved away from Oregon I spoke with my Grandpa's new
wife and told her "If you ever find a pair of clip on earrings from my grandma
please let me know, just one pair would be so nice" And I told her my story
of sitting in her room. 5 years later this week I received a big box
in the mail. I had no clue what it was it just said "Oregon" and
was from my grandpa. I cut the box open and immediately began crying
I could not stop the tears from flowing at that point.
In fact I cannot stop crying while I type this out!

I saw the wood and I knew exactly what it was.
It was the jewelry box my grandmother let me dig through
and pick out those earrings to try on. I pulled it out and I could
smell the wood in my living room. At 35 years old I did not think a box
would ever bring me to tears. I opened it up and inside was a note...
"I did not find a pair of clip-ons but I thought you would like this,
your Grandpa made this for Ginger and it is dated on the back".

I don't think my boys understood why mom sat in the living room on
her knees crying for a half hour. I don't think that Dennise (who sent the box)
will ever truly understand what this meant to my broken heart.

The moments with my grandma were some of the only pain free
safe moments of my entire first 16 years in life. Those moments I hang on to
for dear life. I had nothing tangible to touch or hold from those days.

What an amazing way to end the year of 2010.
I had to share with my friends online...and for anyone
who is a survivor...It DOES get better and you do find those
good memories after time and healing.

Oh and one more note at the INSISTENCE of my friend is what she wrote yesterday in my comments ♥
Blogger Molly said...

I'd like to take a moment of everyone's time to ask you to nominate Cristal/Pinkie for her blog in this year's Eleventh Annual Weblog Awards: The 2011 Bloggies! She surely belongs as a nominee in the category of Best Art, Craft, or Design Weblog"!!!! Let's show our girl some love and take the time to fill out a ballot. You only need to come up with two other blogs in some category to win. Join me in nominating Cristal/Pinkie, won't you??? She won't pimp herself, but I will!!! <3

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Molly you are so amazing...LOL You crack me up woman!~

~Thanks for sharing my life with me~
~Have a wonderful day~


Lille Diane said...

I had the same kind of childhood and it followed me into part of my adulthood. I had a grandma like yours who took me away from the abuse for short times to love on me one on one. Without her love and small ways she let me know someone cared, I don't think I'd have made it. I shed a tear for you, too. We're kindred soul sisters. xx Thank you for sharing this with the world~

Shawna said...

Your post on Tally this morning made me cry and I cried again when I read your blog. You are an inspiration to us all. Thank you for being so vocal about everything you've been through. I work with kids who are the victims of all sorts of abuse and having adults out there who know what they've been through is so important. Thank you Cristal!

Sophia said...

What a beautiful and touching story, had me in tears...♥

Precious Memories Scrapbooking & More said...

you had me in tears this morning. What a lovely memory and now you have an actual physical object to remind you even more of those few great memories. I am sorry you were robbed of more, but I am glad your healing from that horrible experience.


Jocelyn said...

What a wonderful and uplifting story!!!! You had me in tears!!! I am so happy this treasure is in your hands!!

I have an old box like this from my Nana...filled with all of her costume jewelry and every time I open it...I am flooded with the most wonderful memories!!! ENJOY!!!

Drayia said...

What an amazing woman you are Pinky. After such a awful start in life you have become a strong, vibrinate and inspiring woman to so many. I am so glad that you have something to hold all your wonder memories of your Grandma at hand. My heart goes out to you and all children who end up going through this. I am even more glad after reading this that my mother is raising my sister's children and we no longer have to worry about them. They are now rescued and are in a loving and caring home. Your Grandma is right Pinky you are a beautiful person.

Nicole said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration.

Nicole said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration.

Nicole said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You are a true inspiration.

Kelly Sas said...

This is why your blog is the first one I go to every morning. You are so real! Not all of us can be so open about our past. Having something tangible to hold that is from our good memories is such a charished gift. My aunt (who I only saw twice as a child and once as an adult and she lives on the opposite side of the US from me) sent me my grandmothers wedding ring 6 months after she died. Clear out of the blue, in a regular envelope through the mail she sent it along with a note that said, "I know how special your relationship was with mother and how much she loved you. I think you should have this because you will take care and appreciate it." Like you I cried and cried. I wear it everyday. I feel like I have her a little closer and her love is not just in my heart but now also holding my hand by being on my finger. I can survive because of my grandmother's love! I am so, so very happy for you Pinky to have this special box of your grandmothers!!! TFS YOU with the world!

M.J. said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you were able to find your way out into a beautiful life and that you chose to share it with us.

Manhattan Mandie said...

I was very close to my Grandma too. She always made me feel so special and she passed almost 6 years ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I do have a few momentos from her house but really her 7 kids took all of the things like the jewelry and such. I wish I had a piece to wear on occasion. How amazing for them to send you the box! Especially because your Grandpa made it for her. I know you will treasure it forever... are you going to create a layout about it?

Lesabe said...

What a wonderful story.. Made me smile and tear up. I still have goosebumps =)

Lori said...

Cristal, this made ME cry (although I admit I cry at the drop of a hat) so I can only imagine the affect it had on you. Hurray for your Grandpa's wife for sending this sweet gift to you!

Paper Dolls said...

I am so glad that they found this precious little box of memories for you. I am sad you had such a horrible life as a child. Glad you are better and are sharing your thoughts and support to others!

Khristen said...

I read your stories of your upbringing/life in general and have to wonder if we are cut from the same cloth...thank you for sharing this touching story, I can relate oh so well to just about everything you wrote here, including the jewelry! What a wonderful gift to receive, TFS.

Khristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eva said...

Cristal, I am so happy you were able to get some sweet memories in some tangible way back to you. You had such an amazing grandmother, that is for sure and I am so glad she was able to provide you with some happy times in such tough period of your life. This post sure made me teary eyed, too...celebrate your sweet grandma every day! Hugs...

Brenda said...

awww Pinky I too cried reading this post.....sooo happy you got this wonderful treasure!

Amy aka: ropergirl3 said...

God bless you Pinky girl...

ShoppingTamii said...

thank you so much for sharing. I am not a victim of childhood abuse (although I am a victim of abuse from my 1st husband), but your stories help me understand what my mom is going through...she was abused by almost every male member of her family as a child. My sister and I just spent 3 days cleaning my parents house...they are "hoarders" or "pack rats", and I know part of this stems from her past and wanting to "hang on" to those good memories. Unfortunately she hangs on to too much, but I am trying to help her realize there are memories in your head, AND I've been trying to scrap memories into frames that she can see in her newly painted hallway (something she wanted so much, so my DH painted while I tried to finish cleaning their house). I have finished two, a wedding photo, and one with me...I am going to do a bunch more this year to try and help her cope with losing all her "things" that my sister and I had to get rid of so that she can actually get out of bed without stressing about the mess in her house :) Wish me luck!

My Lil' Bits said...

"sniff", what a touching story. I am very happy that you got that box. What a wonderful treasure. Thanks for sharing.

Tonya said...

What a special gift, I'm so glad you have something which brings back those precious memories.

The Scrapbook Speedway said...

thank you so much for sharing that wonderful story!

Aimee said...

What a beautiful story! I'm in tears as I type this. How amazing you now have this treasure!

Crafty Diva said...

Pinky, I don't know what to say except thank you for sharing your life with us. Your gramma sounds like she was a wonderful woman.

Kim A. said...

What an amazing story and thank you so much for sharing it with us. My grandparents are the most important people in my life. I am so glad that you were able ot overcome your childhood and how brave of you to share!!!!!

Tona said...

What a treasure you received in the mail. Your story made me cry. Off to find some kleenex now...

Susan said... brought tears to my eyes. Keep spreading the word, girl. You're amazing.

I was abused by a family member and my parents looked the other way. When they divorced, they pretty much stopped being parents. Not as bad as experience as many go thru but heartbreaking nonetheless.

I'm thankful I had a relationship with my Mom before she passed.

And the family member who abused us...well, he is still apart of our family and we love him. Still wanting an "I'm sorry" but I'll have to settle for seeing his life is changed.

And you are right - life does get better. We need to remember that those evil people in the world do NOT define us.

Janelle said...

Glad you have a piece of your Grandma's belongings and a memory you can hold onto forever. Love coming and reading your blog,and your truly touching stories, Pinky. It exudes your strength and just how far you have come. I wish you every happiness! I am such a big fan! Take care.

Carrie K said...

Wow! What a story!! You made me cry! I hope my grandchildren have such wonderful memories of me!!

Kimmarie Baker said...

I am so happy that you have those special memories in you heart and mind. It is nice that you received the box and how happy it made you. My girls look through my mom's with her at least once a month and share jewelry and stories of where she got some pieces from. I hope one day they will feel the same as you did. My mom has alzheimer's so I try and create many good memories with her for my girls. tfs

Debbie H said...

Pinky, I couldn't read your post without crying either! How amazing. You are such a neat person, what an awesome gift for you to receive, you so deserve it.

Colleen said...

Wow, what a great memory with your grandma. So happy that your Grandpa's second wife was able to send you the jewelry box. Maybe someday you will have a little granddaughter and can make some special memories with her. Even without the abuse, I treasure the memory of my Grandmother's jewelry box and looking through it when I was there. Thanks for reminding me of this special time from my childhood.

Kim. said...

Pinky I am so glad you have something in your life you can look back at and cherish. It is a beautiful box.
Oh and by the way I went and voted for you, I can't think of a better blog to vote for.
Kim xXx