Tuesday, August 16, 2011

~Nothing Fun Just Sad~

Good morning my friends!

I have nothing fun to share today, I apologize but my family
life has taken over for the day. I will be making videos and such today
but for right now it's just my REAL LIFE seeping into my blog.
You know I have to throw in the nuggets of life every once in a while!

We spent the weekend full of baseball and all the usual family stuff,
BUT Sunday night my son removed his shirt and this is what I saw
My son who is VERY GENTILE, I mean VERY. He is a gentle giant
and would not hurt a fly. Someone had been bruising him since the
first day of school. Needless to say I was shocked and very upset,
I drove to the baseball field where hubby was practicing and I began
bawling in hysterics showing him his arms that were covered in bruises.

I went home and calmed down, and first thing yesterday morning
I was at the school at 7:15am speaking with the principal.
They immediately took action. Asking my son when, where etc...

He had been poked all 5 days of school by a schoolmate who was
sitting beside him, he poked him so hard with a pencil and so many times
that both arms were covered in deep dark bruises.
It went on for 5 full days.

After the meeting my son was so shaken I had to take him home.
The principal asked him if he did anything in retaliation and my son
said "No I just asked him to stop and he kept doing it"

So he took it for 5 days before I saw the bruises. I felt awful.
I still feel awful. My son did not want to get in trouble, or
get his "friend" in trouble.

Come to find out this boy was not being mean but he KNEW it was
totally wrong and he knew he was hurting Justice but he was just "playing".
I don't believe it was malicious, but it was 100% wrong and mean
nonetheless, I mean the proof is on my son's arms.

It really took me back to my ex husband who used to "play" and
laugh by throwing ice cubes at my head and leaving bruises all
over my face/neck and kept telling me he was just "playing".

I have to say I struggled to keep composed.

After I got home the school called and told me she was shocked
that this happened because the student was a good kid.
They took care of it and his parents were very apologetic.

I spent the day with my son, he slept alot and stayed pretty quiet.

In the evening we went to the school orientation and the parents
(separated) came to apologize, the dad said
"I am sorry but boys will be boys, he didn't mean nothing by it".

But the mom came over separately and was very kind and
apologized again and again. They had their child go to my son and
tell him he would never do it again. The teacher also moved
him across the room so they won't be sitting together again.

We chatted with his teacher and she said my son is very quiet and
a very good boy and she was proud he did not lose his temper.
I explained it was a good lesson for all of us, that he now knows
to tell the teacher before it gets this bad.

I am very proud of my son for being so gentle, and frankly I am proud
of myself for not losing control and being able to deal with this in an
appropriate manner. Given my history of abuse I really feel like
I have come so far and this is a sign of being well and healed.

Enjoy your Tuesday, I know I will....Much love to ya,


scrappygal said...

Wow Pinky, I would have lost it too. I am so impressed how you kept it together at school. Thank goodness that the parents took responsibility and the school acted fast. Things like this can happen right under our noses.

Kudos to you for keeping it together and serving as such a strong example to your son.

Big hugs and much love.

Kylie said...

OMGoodness - How chilling. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, Your poor boy! But what a beautiful child not to retaliate! He is just gorgeous and you must be so proud to have such a wonderful son. It is comforting to hear the other boy's parents apologised, you dont hear of that often anymore, and for the school to treat the situation so seriously. Well done Pinky! I dont think I would have held it together like you did.
Big hugs to you and your very special son.
Kylie x

lynn79 said...

So sorry you and your son had to go through this! I am in shock and a loss for words but thank you for sharing!

Jenny's Heart said...

Sweet Justice! Oh that makes me mad and sad at the same time and all the past hurt it brings up...grrrr...rotten!
Give him an extra hug from me.

A Sarasota said...


we went through this last year, and it is so hard...

Michelle said...

Cristal, I am so so sorry for all that you and Justice have had to go through. I am glad to hear it was dealt with quickly by the school.

Houses Built of Cards said...

So sad! Isn't it funny how NOTHING makes us go on the defense like someone hurting our kids! I can't believe the mother bear in me if I even THINK someone might be hurting my two girls! Crazy world we live in - so glad you figured it out quickly before it got bad! (((hugs)))


Dot said...

Glad to hear that you took care of the issue as soon as you found out! We, as parents have to stand up for our kids!

Lucy said...

I'm so sorry your son had to endure this. He is a kind soul and that makes it harder to bear. You handled it wonderfully. This could have turned into bullying.

Sherry -Aunt Elmo- said...

How very heart breaking. I've been through something very similiar - my son has high functioning autism and could not / would not tell us what was happening to him. He was VERY abused by his peers (hair cutting etc) and no one ever acknowledged how wrong it was or offered an apology. I was surprised to see (altho dad minimized ugh!) that the parents even spoke to you about it - rare these days! Please know there is nothing you did wrong - we can't be in 2 places at once and you found out just when you were suppose to. I know it's hard not to blame yourself but it is NOT your fault. I hope that you and Justice (LOVE his name btw!) feel better soon and that this NEVER happens again! Hugs to you both!

{VICKI} said...

I'm really impressed by the way you handled the situation. And glad to hear that the school responded quickly.
I hope there are no more episodes and that your son has a good school year.
Give him a big hug from me!

Dawnll said...

What a sweetie! You have taught your child well...most kids would have fought back and gotten in trouble themselves.
It is so refreshing to hear that the school acted quickly to your meeting.
There should be no tolerance of any type of violence or hurt either malicious or not intended type.
You have come a long way sweetie, be proud of how far you have come.

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

That just makes me want to cry...what a sweet boy you have! Feeling so good for you with how it was handled!

ShoppingTamii said...

oh my gosh!!!! You did the right thing. We, as parents, don't always notice things right away, my daughter was cutting herself and we didn't notice it immediately...but, like you, as soon as we did, we did something about it. We, like you will, watch a little closer now, even though she's 18 :) Overprotective? Yes, but that's how parents should be, right? :)

Holly said...

I'm so happy for you that the school took immediate action, although it would have been hard to not say anything back to the father. No one deserves that!

Pendra said...

We will take alot... but not when it comes to our children! You composed yourself very well... I might have hit that Dad!! Sorry your son and your family had to go through this!
Hopefully this boy will have learned a lesson from this and will not do it to another. You are rightfully proud of your son for his behavior... he is one of the good ones!

Emily said...

Aww, reading this just broke my heart! I am sorry that you all had to go through this. I am glad that everything is hopefully resolved now and your son has a better school year!

Gail said...

It really is better to 'deal' with it!
Sorry you had to go through that.
Too bad your son had to go through that too.
Bullying, in any form is wrong.

Lorraine said...

oh bless him im so pleased you managed to sort it out and that he wont get hurt anymore and it was good that his parents apologised to you too,you should NOT feel guilty though this is not your fault and unfortunately this happens sometimes in schools its just sad it happened to your boy but hopefully now it will never happen again.You should be proud of yourself for the way you dealt with the matter and i know you must be so proud of your son for being such a wonderful soft gentle boy xx

Vanessa said...

Your poor kiddo. *hugs* to him & his momma. You did the right thing.

Colleen said...

Pinky, I am so very sorry that this happened to your son. I am glad however, that the school was able to handle the situation and that it will stop. To many times, I have seen parents and other adults brush off kids inappropriate bahavior as they are just kids or they didn't mean anything by it, etc. I really wish I knew how to get that mentality stopped. I have seen it too many times. We had one year where a few of the students burnt down a building at the high school and their parents were mad that they school filed arson charges against the boys. According to the parents they were just being boys, no big deal.
Praying that this doesn't happen to any more kids this year.

GreenScrap said...

You should be proud of your son because he has a great heart and I'm glad you resolved everything. Believe or not this was in a way good because now he knows that he needs to let people know that he needs to be respected and that no one should hurt him even if is "playing". Take Care!!

Kelly Sas said...

I hate that "boys will be boys" mentality. That is what perpetuates bulling and abuse. You should be proud of yourself for the emotional growth you realized you have done. Your boys are going to make the best husbands because of what they have learned through you and your husband.

Kim. said...

Oh Pinky I am so glad you got this sorted quickly and very amicably as this shows the kids just how to behave in these situations.
Kim xXx

Latinacreativa said...

Pinky, Thank you for sharing your candid post. It's a shame your son had to go through this, and congrats on keeping your composure. My son went through some horrible bullying on his school bus and when I tried to discuss it, I was kicked out of the person's home. Minimizing the situation is never the correct response, and you did well to teach your son that he shouldn't be the object of someone else's "fun".You are a brave woman!-Raquel @ Raquelsdesigns.blogspot.com

Jan Garber said...

Having taught in the schools for years, I saw this happening so often. One parent teaches the child the right thing...not to start fights, and to always be kind. The other will bully because he has a father that is a moron. Sounds like your son met one of those. This bully will, no doubt, get into trouble later in life. Just because he claims he wasn't being mean, he knows he was getting away with it. Unfortunately, so many times, the schools punish both. You are fortunate those in charge recognized where the problem was. Tell your son he will always come out the "smarter, better person", altho a bit "bruised".

Nanabells said...

I am sorry to hear about that, and thank you for sharing with us "friends". I can see my gentle grandson being the same way - just sitting there taking it. Hopefully you will be able to teach him how to stand up for himself and not take any abuse. And tell him that "tattling" on somebody who is repeatedly hurting someone else is doing that person a favor by hopefully changing their patterns, and not letting it escalate, and thereby changing their lives into someone who is not an abuser. Sorry you had to go thru it, I can't imagine the feelings this incident brought up. But sounds like the school and the mom behaved appropriately. Blessings!!

Bee's hive said...

This is so sad...at first when I saw the picture I was thinking he had been playing with chalk and you were going to tell me a funny story. But I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that your little giant had to go through that, that you had to find out a week later that he had to go through that. You handled yourself well but the boys father is reprehensible and shows why that boy thinks it's not "mean", God know what that kid has gone through. But sending you and your boy hugs, and hope this nightmare is behind you. Tell your son that he's shown so many little boys how to behave like gentlemen.