Tuesday, July 14, 2009

~Corn Cob Road Texas!~

Now I know y'all wanna know what Corn Cob Road is...
so for those of you who are offended by language, you betta just
close this page right now! LOL But you will be missing the story!

Friday 4 of us sista's decided to take a little trip to Wally World
to help out with drinks, picking up water, pop etc....
So we head on out and stop at Micheal's first like every good
and true scrapbooker does!! I mean DUH hehehe

We get done at Micheal's and ask for directions inside and
I cannot explain to you how FUNNY the check out lady was...
she would lean in to you over the counter and very quietly and
calmly try to explain where to go in a very monotone voice..
"now you just head south on this road and when you come to the light
you turn left then you turn right"
And not a one of us could actually HEAR HER! LOL
So we head out on our merry way and find ourselves at least 10
miles out in the middle of bumfuck Texas,
with nothing around for miles but straw looking corn and dust devils!
So when we see a gas station, of course we decide to stop
and I say to Dolores...
"want me to go in and ask for directions?"
She said "Yea send the PINK haired girl in maybe
they will like what they see and give us the right directions"
So I pop on in with my swirly dress and fat dark sunglasses
(yea i k now hot right?) LOL

I get inside and there are 2 old men, I mean like 98 yrs old
in booths smoking up a storm and I go to the counter and sure as shit
Mr. Hinduwithnoteethandacharoftabaccothe size of Texas!
is standing right there
looking like a rattlesnake walked in fresh off the cement pond!
I asked him where the nearest WalMart is and he says..
"BOY y'all are LOST its way on beck dere'"
He proceeds to tell me we need to go on back where we come from
to the flashing lights
Now this man does not say Flashing lights and let it go
NOOOO this man picks up both his hands and start flashing then in the air!
Because this pink haired girl does not know what flashing lights are
without hand signals! LOL
then he says go left or something...then I will come to
ONE flashing light!
Key word ONE, then he proceeds to flash ONLY ONE HAND! LOL
I tell you what, just watching him, I did not hear a damn thing after
I saw the hands start flashing! LOL
I went out to the car a laughing in my PINK Panties!

And no...that was not all!
Right across the road was a little shop (in the middle of nowhere!)
Called Cowboys and Cowgirls Barn furniture.
Now I am telling you right now...if you
see this place on Corn Cob Road...Keep on DRIVING! LOL
We thought (naturally as scrappers)
How fun and unique lets go look and take pictures!
We started looking and taking shots of the building and
damned if a man did not come out...
face all messed up, covered with Tattoos...yea you know
there was tobacco in that mouth to! I mean it is Texas!
Some scary shit there! LOL
He comes out and says something like
"What are y'all doin' I don't let no people take pictures of my shop"
not nice either , I thought the man was gonna take out a shotgun right dere'! LOL
We kept snapping and said "well we are from out of town and
just admired your store so much"
Oh now...that man was not happy!
He even looked at the rental car license plate to take note
of where we were from, he said "Arizona huh?"
It was sooo funny!!!!
So we jump in the car already laughing...
and giggling about how he had something up his ass...
and I said "I just turned around and saw a CORN COB fall right out his ass!"
We laughed so hard we almost had to pull over...
now moments like that are PRICELESS! and that is
how we named it Corn Cob Road! LOL
I love meeting unique crazy individuals in other places.

Super fun! LOL

~Ok off to my boys!~
~Have a beautiful day~


Harley Dee said...

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious :D

Meg said...

You are too funny!

sPaRkLiNg sCrApBoOkS said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wish I was with you, I'd have pee'd my pants!

TxScrapAddict said...

I'm soooo glad you got to meet some of our wonderful ambassadors from this great state of Texas. You ARE lucky you didn't get an ars full of buckshot lol!! After all we don't say, "Don't MESS with Texas!" for nuthin'!

Anonymous said...

OMG - I was laughing so hard reading that that I had to stop and go reread it because I had tears coming out my eyes - that is soo funny and you tell it so good!!

Jocelyn said...

What a story and I love the pic!!!! You are so funny!!! :)

Kray said...

That was so hilarious!

Michelle Ramsay said...

That was hilarious and I can relate at some of the sights in the USA. I was there a few months ago!! ha ha, I am still laughing!!

Christine said...

i love it. the layout is great too! so, delores has been texting me and i had her number listed as pinky and the whole time i'm thinking is this really pinky? so she called me and no, it's not pinky. so those times i thought we were texting and getting close-it wasn't you. text me girl. i need your digits.

Roni said...

you just made me lmao! wow, wish i went w/ you guys. and trust this big city tx gal woulda been thinking the same thangs! lol

krazgrl said...

Oh my gosh Cristal, I was CRACKING up at the "flashing lights". I have such a picture in my mind of you and your pink hair standing in that store. I wish I could make that whisteling sound you hear whenever you see an old country stand off in the middle of the dirt street. Doodle-doodle-dooooooo. LOLOL