~Too Fat To Be Photographed??!!~

Good morning my craft friends, 

I thought I would stray of the crafty course this morning and post

about something near and dear to my heart....

being a plus sized mom/woman and maintaining self esteem. 

I really am not sure it's completely possible! LOL

However after reading this article yesterday

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/

I decided I REALLY have to change my view on myself.

I have struggled for YEARS to overcome the fact that I am not a worthless

piece of shit and I am in fact not what my dad always called me "A retard" 

or what I grew up with my mom calling me "A fat whore".

Or what bullies call me "Attention whore" 

I think maybe 50 photos were taken out of 6000 on vacation that were actually

me and 49 of them I think I looked like Shrek. 

It's funny, I made a commitment 10 years ago when my son was

born to STOP thinking of myself as a piece of shit loser who nobody

would ever want. After an entire childhood of being abused then 

 several years as an adult of being beaten and abused. 

My entire goal in life was to stop the feeling that I was a nobody. 

It didn't matter what my weight was, it didn't matter what I looked like

it just mattered that I was the BEST person I could be and the best mom 

I could be, and give my best to the community around me. 

I felt like if I accomplished that it would help me to see I was didn't deserve to be beaten

and abused all my life, I was in fact a worthwhile human being who deserved love

and happiness and a life with a family. 

At the end of the day I was right-I am a decent person who deserves to be loved.

I am not a piece of garbage. I am a good mom and I do contribute good to others lives. 

BUT the one thing that has not changed is seeing myself as UGLY.

Growing up being told you are an ugly whore, fat (at size 8) stupid, retarded, 

disgusting, gross, no one will ever love you, "I don't love you", I have never loved you.
It takes a tremendous toll on your psyche. I don't even know if it is repairable.

Even ten years of being myself and focusing on the positive

apparently can't fix feeling UGLY and ashamed.  

SO today I post these photos, in hopes to remind myself of the wonderful

family and friends I have and how that double chin I don't see in the mirror

is ONLY a camera angle and nobody cares because in fact, they see

that moment I took their daughter to the dock, the moment I laughed with friend,

 the day I touched someone's life who mattered to me. 

The day I began stalking Jenny Lawson- blessing her with my presence!

The day we all laughed so hard I peed. 

My kids don't care if I am not "Skinny" according to American Standards,

my husband doesn't care if I am "FAT" my friends don't care

if I have tattoos and pink hair....so why can't I be in the photo once in a

while and be proud?!

I guess my lightbulb moments have happened in the last

2 weeks when my friend Lori asked why I wasn't in any photos,

then I read this amazing article. SO what if I am the fattest one in my group??

It doesn't mean anything!!....I am still ME, AND I know I never see the weight in my

friends photos, or their flaws because they are amazing humans...and I love them

and you know what...SO AM I!!

Thanks for letting me share my heart with you today. 

I think I am going to hug a friend today and tell her she is beautiful...

how about you??

~Spanking Ourselves With Meat.....~

Warning, if you don't have a twisted sense of humor, 

this probably isn't the post for you! haha

Good morning my crafty lovelies! :) 

I have a fun little card to share today with one of my favorite stamp companies

Viva Las Vegastamps of course...I mean seriously...how much more fun can it get?

This was posted on yesterday's blog by ME!

http://vivalas.blogspot.com/2012/11/get-weirdits-ok.html

You gotta go check it out :) 

Yes, I am weird but you know sometimes life is so deadly serious

it's nice to just be a little crazy and weird and do something

completely off the wall...like I don't know....running around for 

10 years with PINK HAIR! haha 

Life's too short to be so serious, have a little fun today in the name of

Pinky and getting weird! :) 

And please check out VLVS 

(oh and the Miracle Tape I used! haha love that sticky stuff). 

You know my friends are all looking at this wondering if they are the LUCKY

recipient of this card....bwhahaha....spin the wheel now...who's going

to get the crazy card from Pinky!! haha

Happy Thursday!

~THANK YOUS & Birthday Fun~

Good morning my friends, 

Ok this is a personal post today- no crafts... :)

I had to share the lovely last few days with my crafty friends

who are always so amazing! over 500 of you sent birthday wishes and

I was overwhelmed and completely humbled. 

(roses from hubs↑↑↑↑↑↑↑)

Some of you know what a difficult time this has been for me and

I cannot thank you all enough for all the support. 

This was a birthday card I got from my In-Laws which is hysterical

because the last time we spoke we had gone to "Dicks" in Nashville

where they insult you while they throw food at you. 

So my sweet in laws sent a card and a check for dinner. 

But it all began Sunday when hubs invited a few people over for 

his famous cheesecake and dinner. 

While we were all chatting and having a good time

the girls found my costume box (ok I got it out! LOL)

and they started trying on costumes, they had us ALL laughing so hard!

 How adorbs are these girls?? OMG so sweet!

 Little monkey playing with her stinger, by this time we were all ROFL!

 That little surprise dinner meant alot and was so refreshing.

I can't remember a birthday since we moved that meant more. 

On my birthday I went to lunch with my girls- and got a pedi.

It was FABULOUS! :) I love fall colors. 

 Then my birthday afternoon the boys walked in my room and handed me this card,

I am infamously known for rounding my age up to 40, I figure

I might as well get used to it, I mean it's right there anyways LOL

My friends all laugh and make fun of me for it. 

So my oldest boy Brad wrote in the card that in his Chemistry class 

I'd be 30 because they round down LOL

It was precious- not going to lie, cried a bit there. 

 Then to make it perfect the hubs arranged for us to meet some friends

and we went out for Habachi where we had a

sordid conversation that was frowned on by the chef (hahahaha) 

they brought out ice cream and sang...no that wasnt awkward at all...looking

down and turning red...LOL

Then we decided to head to Dairy Queen. 

Because we all felt like little piggies! LOL

Can't lie to ya, I wolfed down dinner and the entire small blizzard!

Honestly I haven't seen hubs laugh so hard like...EVAH

and I haven't felt so loved by family and friends in a while.

It truly was a blessing and the birthday wishes from you all

absolutely made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world!!!

I can't express how amazing you all are and how much I appreciate you all!!

Sometimes life gets rough and it's hard to hold yourself up but

I am so blessed to have genuine friends and online buddies that

reach out from all over the world to hold me up when I am at my lowest. 

Much love to you!! MUAH~

Oh and love ya babe! :) 

~New "Do" & Waves Of Fun~

Good morning friends,

If you are on my Facebook you know I got a new "do" this week 

and if not just scroll down, I had about 4" cut off my hair. I like it! :) 

Anyways I wanted to share this layout that I forgot to share *gasp*

from last month's Scraptastic Club Kit.  

 It was such a fun kit with the funky artsy side. I loved using it. 

 I have been scrap-booking my gf's pictures (Jennifer) from

their beach vacation. It's so weird scrapbooking someone else's photos

but it is fun too! :) I used the add-on stamp kit too. 

 I rarely stamp on layouts but had fun with this one. 

I also stitched all around the layout with my sewing machine. 

Aren't these little tags cute? :) 

So how fun is this new "do"? I love it! :) 

Light and airy for summertime. 

Happy Friday my friends, stay tuned for tomorrow's post, we have a 

special blog hop with PRIZES coming tomorrow! :) 

~Using Paper Lines In Alternate Subjects~

Good morning!!!! It is already Wednesday can you believe it??

I love using "Themed" paper and embellishments for alternate ideas.

I used the fun Happy Harvest (very fall themed) line for this baseball layout.

I used the amazing Clear Scraps XL Deco shape for this one :)

Since baseball runs all spring/summer and this year we will try

fall ball, I thought it would be fun to put a fall season twist on it.

Who says you have to stick with your theme??!

Looking at these pictures I cannot believe how BIG my son

is getting! He is just 9 years old last month and he looks 12 or 13.

Amazing how fast they grow.

I might be crazy but in the end my kids will look at my work and smile

because it all says "I Love YOU and want to remember every moment".

That is what I love about scrapbooking!

*side notes* Well I did it, I went and had my hair cut short!

I will fix it up and post a picture tomorrow, very exciting LOL

I had moral support, my girlyfriend came with me (thank goodness)

because I really needed it. But it looks great and I can't wait to play

with it and take some fun pictures today.

Ok off to play with my hair and cook for my boys....

Happy Hump Day!

~Tuesday is back and so is the RAK!~

Good morning all you lovely crafters!
The kids are back to school and I am on a roll this morning!
I wanted you to see what I got a couple weeks ago from a relative
it made me chuckle and I thought maybe you could use a chuckle too!
It is a PINK HAIRED Scrub Brush LOL!
How fun is this?
And while I was googling for the image I ran across a Pink Haired Mom Blog
Now mind you she is not as PINK HAIRED as I am, and I have more kids.
But it was funny to run across it anyways.
The pink hair is alot newer than mine it's fun watching her
explore the pink life LOL
Here is a quote from her profile
Hello I sport Hot Pink Hair! I tend to have a lot of white trashy type moments, even got the "white Trash" bumper sticker, on my fridge of course.
Funny right?

Ok, enough silly talk...getting down to business!
The RAK...I gotz some fun flowers waiting for a new home!
And the winner is #4 which is...

Jen Adkins said...

Very sweet! I had been thinking about buying one of the old school badge makers before, this makes so much more sense.
Also, love the plain white flowers, I can color them any way I want with the copic airbrush. Saturday, January 16, 2010

Jen, please email me your address and I will mail them out next week!

I also wanted to share with you guys that Imaginisce has some fun

surprises coming up, which will include a MONTHLY prize!

So stay tuned for that!

If you are going to CHA don't forget to stop by the Purple Cows
Booth and say Hi and take a picture of my stuff LOL
I wish I was going...I wish I wish...BUT I will be going to Chicago
it's planned and I am ready to go!

Also if you are anywhere near Kentucky...
Scrapbook Village have the Cave City Convention Center and will
be hosting an ALL day crop and classes.
In May...I will be there teaching so be sure to sign up!

~Have a great Tuesday everyone~
~Thanks for popping by~
See y'all tomorrow with actual crafting! LOL
~Pinky~